|Not sure what the smoke is, but I'm already pumped for this movie|
There were a few summers where we may have watched 10 movies a week...and drank a few cases of Mountain Dew and Dr Pepper to wash down the tooth-rotting candy, cinnamon buns, and popcorn. I walked away from those years having a way higher appreciation for films like Star Wars I and The Matrix 2 and 3. Everything people griped about PALES in comparison to some of the drivel out there. Yeah, you didn't like a certain actor's performance, or how a producer has too much of their fingers in the film? Tough tits. Wait until you see Street Zombies (AKA Ozone) or Dragonball Evolution or the most recent live-action Street Fighter movie, then gripe about something like Keanu Reeve's performance in Reloaded.
|Lots of complaints...still a badass movie.|
All that aside, there are a few dirt-covered gems that have a special place in my group's hearts:
"Yurr all ahhnndur-arrest!" Street Fighter The Movie is about as chawesome as it gets. Watch Jean Claude Van Damme struggle with pronunciation as the most American of Americans in the pantheon of Capcom caricatures of national/racial stereotypes as he delivers rad one-liners. One-liners remind us that we're watching movies and not sappy reality-clones. The buck doesn't stop there, though. There are at least 3 key moments. Guile recruits soldiers for the last hurrah, but not before claiming that he would keek det son-f-a-beetch-Bison's ess so hwort that the next "Bison wannabe" would feel it. The main villain, M(ajor) Bison, who plays his role like his life depended on it, doesn't go out like no chump. In one scene, he captured one of the fighters who loathes him, talking about how he came to her village and killer her peaceful father and enslaved the locals. Bison: "For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday." Referring to himself in the third person, like a boss.
It's worth mentioning that Batman and Robin is another gem, with occasional moments of chawesomeness.
Straight-shot, suit-wearing supercop Ray Tango pairs with jeans-and-mullet horndog streetsmart Gabriel Cash (who gets to bang Teri Hatcher!) in
55 seconds into this-here clip, you can see one of my favorite uber henchmen in all his stereotypical glory, along with some clever lines of dialogue.
To sum up; most movies are far from perfect, but if you're reading this, next time you're about to quip that a director ruined his entire saga by adding a few seconds of graphics to it, remember the truly terrible movies you've seen, and then feel better because I guarantee some of those are chawesome and worth a second look!