Shape-up your security, folks!

Part of frugality and financial fitness is more than smart spending, folks. I shrug off horror stories all the time about suckers who got got by blatantly poor decisions or planning. I feel like I am above it all. This viewpoint, however, is ignorant as hell, and someone out there will be laughing hard when I land in hubris hot water. However, some of my confidence is well-founded because I take steps to protect myself the best I can. Here is what works for me:

Freeze your credit! Employment, house loans and (don't do it unless necessary!) car loans require a good credit history. Freezing your credit means telling Equifax, TransUnion and Experian not to open a new credit card or loan account without your consent to lift the freeze. This was another one of those things that I laughed off, thinking it would never happen to me. It still hasn't, but this extra layer of protection can be done in just a few minutes. Wells Fargo got busted for creating fake accounts (and subsequently spent millions of dollars asking for our forgiveness via commercials--the audacity of those crooks!) In February, Seattle ICE was caught in identity fraud.

I didn't have luck with TransUnion's website, so I called 888.909.8872 and it was an automated call. Same with Equifax; 800.685.1111, option 3 or say "freeze." It's free in Washington currently and at least 7 other states. Experian was the only website that actually worked for me, though their number is 888.397.3742.

If you have a fraudulent transaction, don't forget to tell your credit card company and let them do the leg work of investigation. I experienced some drama with Frontier Communications (may the company lose all business and collapse into nothingness!) over a bill that was $150 more than expected. I ended up waiting 5 months for it to be corrected (it wasn't) and ended up calling again when I was reported to collections. I should have paid the whole thing with my credit card and sicced my credit card company on them!

Art by dougdougmann@deviantart

This credit report security is especially important because I've been shopping for condos this summer. At first glance, you'd be right to question my frugality in addition to my longing to live overseas again. However, once I can sweet talk a bank into a loan, the monthly payment towards a condo loan (unit+HOA dues) is $100 or more less than rent in the area! You have to go in with a good down payment and good credit, but we're all masters of wise financial decisions, so this is no problem! This doesn't apply everywhere, and I'm leaving out the massive detail that I'm currently in an apartment with sliding scale rent. However, the going rent in Lynnwood is currently $600 for a room in someone's house, $1000 for a 1 bedroom, and $1200+ for a 2 bedroom. One of the banks I asked offered me just over $1100 monthly on a 2br condo. Consider it, folks! To keep with security, a condo means that you can't be suddenly evicted!

Also, as a person who doesn't use cash, it's amazing how more than 99% of my income is digital. That said, to limit liability, I suggest paying your cards and accounts from your bank account. The alternative is to login to Chase, Capital One and Citibank and link your bank account to each individually, creating 4 vulnerabilities instead of one. However, this is a lot of important information to have all in one place, so make sure your password isn't worthless. Make those hackers work to rip you off!

You'll want to put some thought into your password, but not too much that you can't remember. I like to use catchphrases with numbers instead of letters. "Hasta la vista, Baby!" from Terminator 2 is long, but memorable as #4st4l4v1st4b4by. I guarantee you know 10 lines or their approximates that would work very well as passwords.

Two Reddit accounts. One for NSFW, one for general browsing that leaves comments.

That's all I have for now, folks. These are all steps that take a minimum of time and energy.

Update: It's only poetic justice that I get fraudulent charges on my account a week after posting this! It seems some rapscallion used my card via Uber Eats, which you know I'm too frugal to pay for a) a phone that would be able to run the app and b) someone to deliver food I could make or go get myself! It's all good, though. I called credit card customer service, who connected me to their fraud department, and the entire phone call took 3 minutes and I'm not liable for anything. This is a great example of why I use credit card over debit cards, as the week it takes to replace your credit card is a lot less traumatic than having your bank account locked.