The ILLEST lyrical genius

As much as I dislike the idea of NYC being so full of itself, one of my favorite things comes from New York: Mos Def. Luckily he uses the references to make a point. He doesn't just name drop ala Jay-Z, 'New York! The greatest!'

Mos Def is tight because he's incredibly intelligent, really down-to-earth, and talented enough to make a successful breakthrough to Hollywood films (and Dexter!), in a similar vein to Eminem. Except I don't think he'd pull a shotgun on his fans.

In 1999, he put out an album called Black on Both Sides My brother always listened to this, and at the time, my 15-year-old self was into the beats. It even features a really dope instrumental track, which is the sign of a classy producer, and artist who's willing not to talk about himself or herself for at least one track.

Ms Fat Booty is probably not about a girl like this :)

There is good music throughout the album, which was always my main beef with East-coast hip-hop. I preferred the bass-heavy, DJ-produced dance-able beats of West Coast hip-hop to the themes of slower jazz or snatches from older music in East-coast. But the deep, intricate lyrics are what typically separates it from other genres and even it's West-coast alternative. The songs give you advice to take your time (Speed Law), advice not to be naive (Got), and make observations on social issues (Mathematics).

One song, Ms. Fat Booty, is my third favorite. This woman is apparently so fine, and she has an 'ass so fat you can see it from the front.' It's about a woman Mos meets in a club who blows him off initially. After finally meeting her, he plays it cool and eventually hooks up. He fast-forwards the year of the relationship with a short 3-line verse of key events, which is particularly cool. Eventually, he tries to marry her, and she says she can't commit to it. The song abruptly ends when after all this, he finds her dancing to a nasty song at a strip club with a rich dude.

Mathematics wins for my second favorite because of the cleverness. He uses numbers and statistics to contrast philosophy with reality, the legal system, and talk about children in the ghetto.

It's one universal law but 2 sides to every story

3 strikes and you be in for life, mandatory

4 MC's murdered in the last 4 years

I ain't trying to be the fifth one, the millennium is here

Yo it's 6 Million Ways to Die, from the 7 deadly thrills

8-year olds getting found with 9mils

That last one is about kids holding guns (9mm), not lottery-winning tots.

My absolute favorite would have to be Mr. Nigga. The name tells you everything: despite your success, hard work, and seeming amount of respect you get, you're still black at the end of the day. He talks about having your rich neighbors hope you're not the new guy, getting questioned if your seat-2-C (first class) is your real seat, and getting seized when he goes overseas to name a few of the wealthy-but-black experiences.

Yes, he married the one on the right.

  Race motivates the Jake to give chase. Jake means cops, a common rap reference to Jake and the Fat Man

Mos later pulls attention to how everyone hated on Michael Jackson so strongly, but Woody Allen got a slap on the wrists for molesting and marrying his step daughter. 

The best lyric in that song goes:

When white boys doin' it well, it's suc-cess / 

When I start doin' it well, it's sus-pect.

Just at the most intense part, he backs off and says he'll get over it by focusing on the successes, and leaves you kinda relaxed.

Hip-hop can have a message as simple as 'enjoy the party' ala Black Eyed Peas, or 'kill people and get rich' via 50 Cent, or you can have an epic space opera themed album about the dystopian future in the year 3030, like another favorite, Deltron. You can also be completely confused and non-sensical, like Lil Wayne and Kanye West. Mos Def lays down his themes over smooth beats, making metaphors and parallels to culture, past and present, all while rhyming cleverly. He also comes off as a decent guy who I would really like to give dap to some day.

Stuff I eat here in Japan

The McDonalds 'Goovy Beef' - McDouble with gochujang(spicy red pepper paste) and jalapeno-mayo sauce, with a side of Classic fries, topped with cheese and bacon bits 720Yen/meal.

Pear ice cream! Decently sweet and very pear-y!

Mango-white chocolate

Sweet-ass sparkling peach soda

McD's Funky Beef, with 'bacon,' relish, 2 patties

Sugary lychee gummies

Beer and wine at Wendy's in Roppongi...no big deal.

This is a Y900 cup of iced coffee, but is by far the strongest I've ever had. You might budget an hour to 90min to sit down to have one of these bad boys.

Kiwi soda is the bomb diggity!

This was the Brazil Burger, available for 2 weeks during the World Cup: 2 beef patties, cheese, green and yellow peppers and barbecue sauce.

The Japan burger, available for 2 weeks during World Cup: a deep fried pattie of ground beef and cheese, topped with lettuce, onions and a flavored ketchup.

*panicked driving* OHH NO! OHH! (gets one in mouth) Ohh that's raspberry-OHH! OHH NO!

Grapefruit, Lime, Lemon malts with no sugar added, and a sweet raspberry malt.

Cakey-bottomed, bready cupcake with chocolate puffed rice on top. As a side note, the milkfat percentage is listed on the carton and the range is enormous! 4.6% goes amazingly with coffee and into baked goods.

Pan-toasted chocolate marble bread.

Strawberry croissant-donut.

Oreo-cheesecake cupcake. I died three times eating this.

Green-tea icecream bar coated in crunchy chocolate.

Japanese McDonalds sells hot, deep-fried chocolate pies. Yes. Believe it. The gooey center is worth it.

Some kind of flaky roasted-yam pastry. Great with tea!

Frozen alcohol. I call it a Lush-ee

Double-thick, taste like crunch corn soup!

Katsu teishoku (Japanese meal set) $8 at Ootoya.

IT HAS A LIGHTSABER ON IT

Order ramen from this.

This is from a tsukemen (dipped noodles) joint in Hiyoshi.

This tsukemen is from my favorite ramen shop in Japan - Menya Koji (Kashiwa, Chiba) Lookit how thick dhose noodles are! The dish I'm holding is spicy garlic, and the pork melts in your mouth.

Games of 2014 - January - June

January - Ratchet and Clank: Into the Nexus: Great platformer with a solid storyline, and cheap jokes aplenty. My friend Bruce recommended Blood Dragon. It's an FPS game loaded with a hero that knows EGG-ZACTLY where he is. That place is a retro-future - that's right, synthesizer music, neon, robotic voices, and tons of cliches. Your character even spouts one-liners based on kills! *Headshot* "I guess he was open-minded."

The game does a lot right: the collectibles are a) on the map and b) have an effect on the gameplay. Nothing pisses me off more than the majority of games, which have collectibles for the sake of trophies/achievements and nothing else. None of that here.

Cutscenes are 2d comic panels with decent voice acting (Phil LaMarr!), and there are more 80s-movie cliches buried in there that I'll just have to let you find out.

I bought a Zelda: A Link between Worlds 3ds XL and let me tell-a you, this is the best purchase I've made in a long time. Nintendo is really good at doing version 1.5 games - not-quite original enough to be sequels, but repackaged, spruced up, and enough features to feel familiar but different enough. After all, A Link to the Past is a fantastic game as it is! This game is non-linear, artistically great, and loaded with interactive tweaks for the 3DS. You can quick-select items with the touch screen, and the 3D-mode top-screen shows some impressive distance for floating enemies and platforms. There are lots of perspective-timed jumps that will land you in the lava.

However, fighting Dark Link via the Street Pass is by far the coolest thing about this game (and the coolest thing about every 3DS game). If your 3DS touches uglies with another Z:aLbW owner, you fight an AI-controlled Dark Link of their last-saved character for rupees! If I am just starting out and have a few items and only 3 hearts, I get hella rupees if I can beat someone who has 10 hearts and better items.

As always, there are the signature moments and characters, which is why people become fans of series.

It's only January, but I know this is already one of the best gaming experiences of this year.

February - I'm combing through old games and newer-but-supposedly easy games, trying to get that 100% or Platinum.

I started a game called Metro: Last Light. This is February's free game of the month on Playstation Plus ($50/year if you can't find a deal). You're a member of a Communist organization...and you fight Nazis as well as mutated creatures that resulted from biochemical warfare. I might not have that right, but you can look up the story if you really care. The dystopian setting and survival aspect reminds me of Last of Us, but, technically, it just doesn't deliver the goods. Your character walks really slowly, and the collision detection is reminiscent of the late 90s, when 3d graphics were new. It. Fucking. Sucks. Even the PC version was plagued with bugs, which weren't completely fixed when they released it on the consoles.

One of the trophies is to beat the game without killing any humans. You do this by approaching them and hitting square (knockout) vs R3 (stab the shit out of them). Successfully, the character will stiffly change whatever position they're in and stand up and turn around, just to be surprised and let you knock them out. It looks stupid. The only problem is that you're often waiting for the stupid square-or-R3 prompt, and you're probably going to reload your gun about 30% of the time. The AI is really stupid in that you can stand right in front of an enemy soldier and they won't notice you, as long as it's 'dark.'

*March update: I beat that game another full time in about 6 hours, without killing anything and didn't get that trophy. I deleted it in frustration and started:

March games: God of War: Ascension, Link's Awakening (Gameboy!)

God of War games are awesome for a few reasons: epic, drum-pounding, male choir-fueled Mediterranean empire music, sweet graphics, unparalleled violence and rage.

April: Thomas was Alone. This game deserves recognition (which I'm sure it's already gotten) for narration being able to make you care about a yellow square, and three other colored rectangles.


May: I think this was a month of trying to finish up titles for platnium trophies, and my Master Quest in Zelda: A Link Between Worlds. Just as awesome the second time through.

June: Okami, which I liked so much, it got its own page.

Videogames are only expensive if you're impatient...just like most things.

Everything has a premium, right? That's what full retail price is, to me. With the exception of titles with awesome preorder bonuses, or Final Fantasy games that I just HAVE to HAVE, I haven't paid full price for a video game in a long time. My friends call me cheap, but last time I checked, spending more money for the same product isn't a good idea. It's like buying winter clothes in the spring! Well, except usually it's more like 6 weeks before the game hits that first $20 drizzop, even if temporarily.

The thing that gets me is when non-gamers, and even, disappointingly, gamers say is that it's an expensive hobby. Yes, it's true that new games retail at $65, after tax, in the US. $80 in Japan! Economics in your face: I hope most players would agree that the average spinning disc has an ~8 hour single-player campaign. That works out to a little over $8/hour of entertainment, frustration and euphoria for you! Don't worry, you'll get yelled at by your significant other anyway! Forget about games with sick replay value like the FPS games where you can spend a couple hours a week blowing holes in people! I got Modern Warfare at $40, and put 200 hours into it, and didn't buy any DLC. That's 20cents an hour. Last summer, I went paintballing with some students for $40/hour and walked away bleeding and...so did they!

How much does a 2-hour movie cost, again? What about a night of drinking? Casino? Even a restaurant? What about fitness (Everdeen) clubs? Most hobbies and entertainment cost money, and gaming isn't that high on the list. I complained about the subscription fees to MMORPGs, but then realized I was spending 20hrs/week in one world that was addictive, and that fee helped keep it dynamic and running fast enough. See what I did with the 'Fitness Everdeen'?

Let's revisit that entertainment budget, because you've also got to buy the system and controllers and stuff. It's true that you need $250-300 to get started, but this is where some Mr Miyagi (played by Pat Morita!) patience comes in.

Last year, I bought a Playstation 3 off of Craigslist, with 21 games, for $180. I turned around and sold most of the games for $50. I bought a Wii in perfect condition, with 2 controllers, 5 games (that weren't sports games!) and a few other peripherals for $80. A little legwork, and I saved bucco bucks! You might have to tell your mom that you're buying something cool like samurai sword, but you'll be laughing your way to the bank to invest those greenbacks.

Through Craigslist, eBay (decreasingly, these days), and Gamestop (not that great of a tradeoff, actually, 10% on a bad day), you can save anywhere from 50-80%. I know there is a tendancy not to trust used products or internet transactions, but it's also 2013, last time I checked my XMB notice board. eBay bought Paypal a few years back, and even before that, there are LAYERS of protection for the buyer. Now it's even better. Sure, it takes 30 days to get your cash back if you get ripped off, but you do get it back in the extremely rare chance it happens.

Yeah, there's the Craigslist killer, but with all the random shootings these days, I don't really see how you're any safer in a Best Buy, wasting your money on those lame buyer points. Those work out to about 2% cash back, which is generally a lot lower than the amount of interest you're paying for that credit card. You do get to see an occasional attractive customer service clerk, but is that really blowing your wad? *straight face didn't last*

Newegg.com often has $48 preorders (no tax in WA, usually free 3-day shipping), but the only drawback is that you have to wait 2-3 days for the item. If you can do that, you save 27% (compared to Gamestop's 16%). Every 4 games you buy like this, you get another one! If that shit works for Victoria's Secret, then it damn sure works for me. I don't know how the two are related, but now I'm thinking about titties.

...But my point is that if you can wait, you can save. Besides, how many crappy launches have we had where the first day was waiting for the devs to release patches?

My last job's exit survey

Are there any other comments about your experience working at ----------------?

Out of my 4 years in the company, I had good and bad days, but there was only 1 or 2 days when I really didn't want to come into work. I generally loved my job, and it's definitely about the connections I made there. I was glad to see, just as I was leaving in September, that the company started to roll out some benefits and adjustments. I suppose "better late than never" should be said, but I think some of the higher ups need to visit the schools and spend a day with a few teachers and get some empathy. You'd be amazed how far a little non-financial gratitude goes. Try to make some copies, use the toilet, and watch a teacher struggle showing a video clip that perfectly adds to their lesson, and you'll quickly understand that a few benefits is only the tip of the iceberg of what THESE schools really need.

Describe what you liked LEAST about working at -------------------------:

The state of the facilities and lack of benefits were a constant reminder that every ESL teacher has to be internally motivated. If the company really valued teachers, we would have gotten the obvious. Students saw cruddy classroom conditions and malfunctioning equipment, after paying hefty tuitions. 50% of our campus (one building) didn't have wifi until I personally installed a router. This just sends a terrible message about --- to both employees and customers.

Describe what you liked BEST about working at --------------------:

The ESL environment and freedom with it. I will miss the fact that I can assign real world tasks, like interviewing university students and writing reviews of restaurants, bars and cafes. I'll miss the age group, and diversity of nationalities. I miss having a pool of really talented teachers that I can draw and develop ideas with during those tense breaks. Working abroad, I am surrounded by teachers whose teaching methods have little in common. Students simply repeat and use lots of books and almost never speak. At ---------------, we used a completely different approach.

What does your new job/company offer that ------------------ did not offer?

I spent over 30 hours a week at --------, and often worked through lunch. Here is full-time, but I bring home an extra 30% after taxes and benefits. Transportation reimbursement, healthcare, 20 personal days off per year, in addition to holidays, modern classroom equipment and facilities, my own desk. Teacher's room is well-lit and the copiers are dependable. Each teacher is given their own laptop with wireless internet and every classroom has a tv to connect the PCs.

Building L-EGO-s

Ground zero. At my last workplace, there was a significant chunk of time where I was...the man. No way around it. Students enjoyed my class, I enjoyed students, everything was gravy. At this new workplace, however, I get to start over.

This kind of "reset button" is my new favorite part about my profession, in that every time I travel, I get to rebuild myself. Going back to my last workplace, I had become bored of who I was, and had too many not-so-proud moments. I eventually got trapped in being myself and felt like any drastic change simply wouldn't be taken seriously. 'That's not Mark,' people would say, and then I'd lose my drive. Well, luckily this chance for change is inherent in that of a traveling language seller.

What makes this different is that all of my previous 6 years have had an element of temporariness. Either I was going within a few months, or they were going. There was always that comfortable limit of time, and light at the tunnel for any student-teacher-co-worker relationship. That just might be over, and I have mixed feelings. I might be permanently part of the team, locked in with students for not just one year, but their whole experience in middle and/or high school. It's going to be such a huge mutual investment that will probably mark my life significantly.

My experienced of being entrenched into my previous character in the workplace definitely gave me a little empathy for celebrities. My little local world where students knew about me and wanted to take my classes was a giant ego booster, but there was that frustrated chunk of me that wanted students to get a chance to know me firsthand. These thoughts get triggered every once in a while when you read about the latest pop icon tragedy; people who, for one reason or another, just couldn't handle the attention. Yeah, let's ridicule Britney Spears for trying to block the insane amount of responsibility heaped on her. Remember the nation holding her hostage for her choice of dress? Tell me how many 24-year-olds have their lives figured out. Ever laugh at Lindsay Lohan's rapid aging? Disappointed in the abrupt end of the Chappelle show?

I'm lucky in that my students, friends, family and co-workers always supported me after my least-favorite moments. I had a drop of that fame, and peoples' expectations can push you into a corner, and kudos to those who can handle it.

So, I am 3 days into working at the new school, and I have the chance to build my new ego and reputation. Here we go!

Shuppatsu!

Here with an hour of free time before the plane boards. these 16 days back have been amazingly quick. If I had done EVERYTHING I wanted, I would have been pretty exhausted by now. At this point, I don't really have enough energy to feel guilty about the missed opportunities for dinners, lunches and coffee with friends and colleagues. Also, with bags checked, no more worries about what I forgot to pack or buy...it'll all be good. One thing Rachel has helped me with is self-forgiveness. As long as it isn't exercised too much, it's very valuable in stress management (and probably living longer).

But it still sucks that I wasn't able to see everyone. I DID get to call my folks, Mom, Frederick, J and Ashley all sound good, and I'm glad they're together. Over Skype, my brother sounds almost exactly like me. I always thought his voice was more musical, but with enough strain, it flattened out just like mine. It makes sense: he's been keeping his daughter's sleep schedule for the last month.

Final restaurant count in my 2 weeks: 2x Snappy Dragon, 2x Cedars, Din Tai Fung, Papa John's, Dominoes, Saffron Grill, Taco Bell, and a 1.5-lb gain.